i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
