Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
