he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
