They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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