Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
