I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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