forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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