she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
