Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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