I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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