this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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