the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
