i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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