This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
