I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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