If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
