"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
