Cold hands, warm shart.
You just made me feel so damn special
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
