That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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