She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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