Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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