If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
