one might say we're banned from that church
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize