we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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