Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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