You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
