I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
