i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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