she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
