What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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