There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
