I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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