Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
