I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I want her autograph on my taint
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize