I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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