After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
