Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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