So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
