i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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