How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
