My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
