Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
