She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
