My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize