Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
