he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
