you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
last night I used snow as a chaser
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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