He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
