thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
