Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
