that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
