its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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