super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
