ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
