I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
