definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
