I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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