it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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