I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
