Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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