You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
