coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
