Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize