tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
