We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
