Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
