I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
