you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
