Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
