I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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