Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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