So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
