I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
